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Classies
Classies may be purchased at our office for $0.50 per line. We accept cash and checks, but we do not yet accept payment in the form of leftover cash on your Case Western Reserve ID. Our office is located in the basement of Thwing. Classies do not represent the opinion of The Observer or Case. We reserve the right to edit classies for consistency and appropriateness. However, if they don’t make any sense to begin with, it’s your own fault.
Offered
FOR RENT – Four bedroom, one and a half bath University Heights home. Two miles from campus. Contact Michael Embrescia 440-708-2683
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Cleveland Hts. Large 5 Bedroom House on Grandview Rd. $1,265 a month. Close to Campus. 2 garage parking spots plus street parking. 1 block from Starbucks Cedar Hill. Available June 1st. Call John at 216-570-8102.
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Need an extra $36,000.00 a year?
Vending route for sale. 50 high traffic locations. Cost $5000. 1-800-568-1392 or www.vendingthatworks.com
Get the “bleep” out of the cold! Mexico/Caribbean only $125 each way all taxes included. Other worldwide destinations cheap. Book on-line www.airtech.com or (212) 219-7000.
Wanted
Volunteers with allergy to nickel or hair dye are needed to participate in a study conducted by the Department of Dermatology at Case and UH. $75.00 compensation for completing all visits. Call 216-844-SKIN or 216-844-7834.
Going to be on campus this summer? ELS Language Center is looking for conversation partners for its folks learning English! Get to know more about the world by sharing yours! Contact Joe Slanina T–Th–Fri x2718 or email jrs40 if interested.
BARTENDER TRAINEES NEEDED!
Make up to $200 in one weekend.
Open schedule. Get certified now!
Call 1-888-327-4842 dept. B-701.
Classies
www.urbanohio.com
UPB Special Events ... interested?
Email jrm30@cwru.edu.
AF Happy Birthday Dae! AF
CLEVELAND FUSION –
REAL WOMEN. REAL FOOTBALL.
QUESTIONS? EMAIL CMK18.
www.urbanohio.com
Do you have fantastic ideas about how to improve this newspaper? We want to hear about them! Email observer@cwru.edu.
Cinderella Ballet Tickets on sale now in Student Activities. Only $10. Show is April 29th.
AF Happy Birthday Courtney! AF
Thank you to everyone that participated in Jail ‘n’ Bail. Alpha Phi Omega appreciates your help and donations.
www.urbanohio.com
GIRLS PLAYING FOOTBALL? CLEVELAND FUSION @ BROWNS STADIUM @ 2:30 P.M. SATURDAY, APRIL 24TH.
AF loves our sexy silver stud, Aziz!
I’m withholding congratulations to some of my graduating friends until I see the results of their History 112 final.
JOIN UPB CONCERT COMMITTEE
EMAIL JLA17@CASE.EDU.
www.urbanohio.com
AF loves our Bordeaux beau Vimmal!
UPB SEZ: Thanks for a great year!
“I think during finals I should wander by all the classrooms (or at least the larger ones sure to have a final) and whistle the ‘Kill Bill’ whistling tune.” – The Grapevine
www.urbanohio.com
Over 50 programs this semester?
Wow UPB! Wow!
The brothers of Alpha Phi Omega wish everyone a fun and exciting summer. If you are in the Cleveland area over the summer months, feel free to contact us for some fun service or fellowship activities. (apo.case.edu)
www.urbanohio.com
HUDSON RELAYS TOMORROW! COME OUT AND SUPPORT YOUR CLASS!
Congrats to our beautiful, smart, wonderful seniors! Love, AF
www.urbanohio.com
Going to be on campus this summer? ELS Language Center is looking for conversation partners for its folks learning English! Get to know more about the world by sharing yours! Contact Joe Slanina T–Th–Fri x2718 or email jrs40 if interested.
www.urbanohio.com
AFAFAFAFAFAFAFAFAFAFAFAF
Alpha Phi seniors: Colleen, Julie, Anna J,
Anna W, Kelly, Alison, Karen, Monica,
Emily, Donetta, Vicki, Marissa, Candice,
Nicole, Kumi, Laura, Lin, Cassie &
Brandie. You will be missed!
AFAFAFAFAFAFAFAFAFAFAFAF
Thanks for the passes, Ben.
Good luck on exams everyone! And congrats to all of the graduating seniors, we will miss you! In LFS, Alpha Phi Omega.
www.urbanohio.com
“Ahh yes Springfest, where they take the swill out of the dining halls and put in the sun for a while. What could possibly go wrong?” – The Grapevine
AF wishes everyone a fabulous summer!
WWW.CLEVELANDFUSION.COM
www.urbanohio.com
Congrats to all the graduating miniature donkey farmers!
Good luck on finals! Love, AF
Hey, did you guys hear that Slater gave Screech a black eye?
I hope I can still blame Tim Couch for things in next year’s classies.
Farewell, Munyon. Your in-house advertisements will be sorely missed.
If I think not, am I not? I think not. Don’t you think? – Lisa Turtle
Who are we kidding? He’ll be back.
What is art? Are we art? Is art art? – Lisa
I think he just wants to boss around this Kelly kid for a couple weeks. Munyon likes being in charge. This is just his angst coming out because he never got around to becoming editor. Now he’s talking about poisoning the office with lead. Yikes.
Shoot your hopes and dreams! – Mr. Belding
A good message for all those graduating seniors out there.
You can always look to Saturday morning sitcoms for wisdom.
Where did the gang get the money to afford to eat at The Max all the time? Was it included in their meal plan?
How am I just now typing classies about Saved by the Bell?
Correct me if I’m wrong, Sandy, but if we kill all the golfers, they’re going to lock us up and throw away the key.
We can do that.
We don’t even need a reason.
I am Carl Spackler, licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations.
I understand production for The Whole Eleven Yards is about to start. This one is going to be animated, but the artists are having problems trying to decide how to draw Matthew Perry. Do they use skinny Perry, fat Perry, or normal-looking Perry?
I’m anxious to see which one shows up in the very special last episodes of Friends.As a going-away gift, we’re getting Munyon a framed picture of his favorite litigator.
I wonder who is getting his fax machine.
Staci Carosi’s dad lost a lot of weight between Saved by the Bell and King of Queens.
His hair also changed texture and color ... weird!
Now that we have the sequel to Bring It On, it’s only a matter of time until Crossroads II comes out, isn’t it?
When you search “saved by the bell” in Google, the first site that shows up is “Memorable Quotes from Saved by the Bell: The College Years.” I was unaware that those existed.
So Zack is on NYPD Blue, Slater is on the male View, Screech makes the occassional appearance on Celebrity Boxing or another ill-concieved event so people can make fun of him, Kelly was on 90210, and Jessie made Showgirls. What the heck is Lisa doing?
$144, huh Marissa?
ItsWRITING-MY-COLUMN-AT-THE-LAST-MINUTEtime!
Tribe’s rained out. I wonder if there will be a real double-header this year since they’re not selling out of tickets. That would be cool.
Shake it like a polaroid picture.
“And the Canadian, who has been quiet and docile the entire time, says––”
They say the heart of rock ‘n roll is still beating, and from what I’ve seen I believe them.
I miss Karen.
This place won’t be the same without you guys. It’s over!
Three pizzas just isn’t enough anymore.
Erik, you will be missed. But not that much, since you’ll be here this summer.
Adam, be sure to send me your NCAA password next March. Good luck at Dickinson in Pennsylvania.
This is my last issue!
FKY thanks all of the 24-hour softball tournament participants.
I’m crying so much it’s hard to type!
Unless John changes things, the classies would formally like to say goodbye to the following people: Steve Hampton, Isaac Epstein, Mario Contreras, Matt Finnerty, Josh Ehrenreich, Brian Latko, Stanley Evans, Chuck P, Ben Johnson, Observer staff members past and present, Afif Ghannoum, Brian Lause, Rahul “Rafool” Ravi, Adam Rozsa, Big Joe, Second Floor Rush, The Pirate, P chem, P chem lab, Ayesha Ahmed, Nick Thorpe, the wink, The Big Lebowski, Mr. Heller and any other cast members I may have forgotten.
And Tim Couch, who’s fault it is that I still have to finish my paper tonight.
ItsLATKOtime!
Remember to keep this edition of the newspaper so you can read it every Friday over the summer.
Or, you could grab about twenty copies so you could have a fresh paper to read each week, and redo the crossword and word search each week. By the third time around, the word jumble will probably lose some of its difficulty, though.
Luke Coffman is going to Harvard Business School. Good job, Luke.
That’s an Observer vet, people.
It’s a pretty simple cause and effect, really. Write for this paper, go to prestigious graduate schools. Bam!
Congratulations to all of you seniors who will be going on to bigger and better things.
Congratulations also to those of you who are leaving, albeit to go on to smaller and worse things.
Al dry cleans his J. Crew jeans.
Congratulations to Beth for successfully completing her last orchestra concert.
Yay Erin – fun stuff to do this week!
Congratulations to Ben for making the most of the massive amounts of time on his hands this semester.
Matted fur. ‘Nuf said.
“Panera on his father’s credit card.”
Well, hopefully they were also bought by your parents with money.
Kill the DOS window!!
That’s a hardware problem.
So, I was all set to head back to my summer job, and I called the place just to make sure they would hire me again. It turns out, though, that my boss is no longer with the company, and the man on the phone said –
That they weren’t hiring any interns!
Thanks, KG, for all of your hard work this year. You’re awesome.
This will be the last one for Dave. I hope it’s big enough for him.
Congratulations to Kristen and Dave! I hope you two kids are very happy together. Your first born should be named Munyon.
Big gulps, huh?
Well, see you later!
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